Dinner for Gilmores
by Harrypotter202abc
Summary: Just a normal dinner at the Gilmore house...or is it. Jess and Luke join our favorite mother daughter duo at another night of Emily's dinner from hell, literally. Includes boybands, Dante's Inferno, Emily being Emily and angry Rory! One shot.


**Inspired by a challenge on the "****Chilton Library website" by Emerie **

**Okay so I know I should be updating my Harry Potter Fanfic but I got a sudden inspiration!**

**Sorry if Rory seems a little OCC at the beginning but she get more in character as she relaxes and Lorelai starts acting her age. **

**This story takes place after season 7…but imagine Rory before she was corrupted by Logan (really into school, inseparable from her mom, wittier and back when she was more adult than her mom).**

**Also, Lorelai and Jess tolerate each other but the don't quite see eye to eye and April does NOT exist. **

"MOM!" Rory screeched.

"What? There's no rush Luke isn't here yet…" Lorelai retorted.

"What are you talking about? Luke and Jess have been sitting here for an hour!" Rory replied.

"Well they can wait ten more minutes!"

"You're acting like a child."

"No I'm not!"

"You're stalling…Luke will be fine. NOW COME ON!"

"I have arrived." Rory's mother announced as she sauntered down the stairs.

"Hey." Jess called from his spot on the couch.

"Hi guys!" Lorelai exclaimed, before puling Luke into a hug and examining his outfit, "Luke! These pants are really nice are they new?"

"Well no…not-" Luke began.

"Actually they're mine!" Jess called.

"How did you? But- Jess…shorter… huh? Oh never mind…we're late let's go." Rory fumbled before pulling Jess out the door and into her awaiting Prius.

"I think that's our cue to go…" Lorelai smiled, before dragging Luke over to the car as well.

6 cups of coffee and 45 minutes later the quartet arrived in front of the large Gilmore mansion.

"Do you want to go directly inside? Or do you wanna hear a story first?" Lorelai asked.

"I would prefer to hear this story…" Jess smiled.

"You really don't…" Rory warned.

"Hey, offensive." Lorelai huffed.

"Well the milkmaid who is standing in front of the 'slightly pornographic fountain' has already heard this story, remember?"

Jess and Luke exchanged confused looks before the knowing realization hit them and they waited expectantly for the amusing display. Lorelai took a deep breath before beginning her story

"_Once upon a time there were 4…munchkins-"_

"Wait, munchkins?" Jess asked.

"I told you so…" Rory bragged.

"Do you want to continue or go inside?" Lorelai asked slightly annoyed.

"Continue please." Rory admitted.

"_As I was saying…4 munchkins stood outside the large mansion with the cobbled driveway. One munchkin was tall and stubbly with a fetish for plaid and backwards baseball caps…but surprisingly he was wearing a significantly shorter munchkin's pants-_

"What is with you all and the pants?" Luke exclaimed indignantly. Lorelai glared at him before continuing her story.

"_The next munchkin…the first munchkin's nephew was slightly shorter with a sarcastic expression and poofy hair, he had a particular habit of wearing band shirts with hideous pictures on them."_

"I do NOT have poofy hair." Jess justified.

"Can I just finish my story!" Lorelai exclaimed

"_The next munchkin was the second munchkin's waifish girlfriend, she had big doe eyes and long brown hair…she wore a flowy dress and looked ready to be swept away by woodland creatures any minute." _Loralei paused expectantly waiting for a comment, but when she received none she just moved on with her story. _"And finally the waifish munchkin's beautiful mother who was not only striking with her mesmerizing eyes and beauteous looks but charming and witty. Always managing to hook anyone with a 100 mile radius!" _

"This is a new one…" Rory commented.

"_So the sarcastic one, the waifish one, the beautiful charming one and the one in his nephew's pants were all walking in the woods…until they stumbled upon a large house. The waifish one moved closer to see if the house was made of candy but alas it wasn't and so she moved toward the brass knocker and rapped on the wood. Out of nowhere a perfectly manicured hand reached out a grabbed the waifish one away…leaving behind only a cloud of Chanel number 5. In a spout of bravery the sarcastic one dashed after his princess dropping his book in the process-_ Okay, this isn't working and you all are obviously bored so I'm going to stop there."

"But the story was just getting good…" Jess complained.

"C'mon Prince Charming you can do the honors of ringing the doorbell." Lorelai coaxed.

Jess rang the doorbell and the heavy oak swung open to reveal a pretty European maid, who smiled cheekily at Jess.

"How…you…do'n?" Jess asked pulling off an excellent Joey from Friends impression.

At the sight Rory huffed before taking Jess's coat and stuffing it in the maid's arms before pulling a Misty and dragging him away by his ear.

"OW! There is a head attacked to this ear you know!" Jess screeched.

"There is a GIRLFRIEND attached to this arm you know!" Rory screamed back.

"I was just being polite…oh waifish one." Jess mocked.

"Well the waifish one is gonna pull a Monty Python and go all evil bunny on your ass!" Rory replied angrily.

"My, my what an entrance." Emily interjected.

"Careful…nobody move or my mother will have to resort to hiding in her panic room." Lorelai warned.

"As in Jodie Foster?" Jess asked.

"Yup." Rory and Lorelai and Rory replied with a smile.

Emily sighed, she would never fully understand how her daughter's, Granddaughter's (or any of their friend's) minds worked. The exasperated socialite led the four into the sitting room before taking drink orders (Since the incompetent maid was too idiotic to do it herself).

"What would you like to drink Jess?" Emily asked, noticing the young boy was the only one without a drink; "No need to be shy Lorelai drank half this liquor cabinet before she was 16."

"I'll just have scotch neat, please…but I can get it myself, no need for you to be running around for me." Jess charmed.

"Oh I adore a man who drinks his scotch neat! And it's no problem Jess, in fact it's my pleasure." Emily smiled, obviously impressed.

"_See? I told you I would make an excellent impression on your grandma." _Jess whispered to Rory.

"Grandma, if you don't mind I'm going to go show Jess the house…because he hasn't seen it yet." Rory smiled to her Grandma.

"Fine but be back in time for dinner your grandfather will be back from his office soon." Emily warned.

"Don't worry we'll be fine Grandma." She assured, before grabbing Jess's hand and pulling him to the study.

Once inside Jess's gaze automatically fell upon the large portrait of Rory holding a book. "Wow, this suits you…it's very Little Women" Jess admired.

" Thank you…I fancy myself a Beth; round face, brown hair, books and stuff…" Rory winked.

"But what shall I do when you die of scarlet fever?" Jess continued.

"Beth died because she was weakened by scarlet fever and chronically depressed not from the actual scarlet fever."

"Well excuse me Lousia May Alcott."

"Whatever Dodger let's go!"

Rory dragged Jess outside the study and up the stairs, she then proceeded to point out her grandparents room and mother's old bedroom before she reached her makeshift room (which she had only used once).

Upon opening the door it seemed she had forgotten Emily's forced décor, for her face contorted with horror as she was reminded of the lace and outdated posters.

"NSYNC?" Jess laughed.

"My grandmother picked it out…it was either that or Backstreet Boys." Rory replied.

"So Nick Carter or Justin Timberlake?"

"Yup and I always had a thing for scruffy brunettes." Rory winked. Jess smirked, "sure…that's why you dated one of the hardy boys, a blond dick and Dodger."

"Dean was nice until he got possessive and Logan…well I'm kinda speechless on the Logan front."

"I'm glad." Jess crossed his arms with a satisfied smile.

Just as their conversation was about to continue, Loralei stuck her head inside and called them both for dinner with Luke behind her. The four of them went back downstairs just in time to catch the Emily and Rich variety hour.

"Excuse me! I had no idea we were living within a Victorian novel!" Emily screeched.

"If you weren't being so stubborn this wouldn't be an issue!" Richard replied with equal tremor.

"So know I am a stubborn delusional tea drinker!"

"You are reading far too much into this!"

"A kleptomaniac has more self control than you do!"

"A you calling me a thief?"

"Welcome to Dante's inferno…please take a seat and keep your hands and feet within the car at all times, the fires of hell tend to be very hot." Jess muttered.

Rory giggled, as Richard looked up, suddenly uninterested in his argument.

"Have you read Dante's inferno son?" Richard questioned

"Yes, several times." Jess answered.

"Very good…so do you believe in the concept."

"In a way…same as I believe in Hyades."

"Hyades…have you read Homer?"

"I like the Odyssey but the Iliad left more to be desired."

"Quite the literary buff aren't you?"

"I wouldn't refer to myself as a buff…"

"Jess reads A LOT…he's just being modest." Rory interjected.

"I should take you to my office I have quite an extensive collection."

"Rory and I swap books quite a bit."

"That's not the only thing they swap…" muttered Loralei.

Shocked, Rory swiftly kicked Loralei in the leg.

"Ouch!" Screamed Luke.

"Oh my god! I am SO sorry! I was aiming for my mother." Rory exclaimed.

"Oh no it's okay." Luke said, rubbing his calf.

"There is no need to feel so embarrassed Rory, sharing affections is a normal part of relationship."

Upon hearing this Rory sank father into her chair, kicking Loralei again…this time succeeding. Loralei's eyes widened as the dainty foot made contact with her bare shin.

While all this is commencing Jess sat at his seat smirking. When she realized Jess's expression proceeded to give another kick within his direction.

"Oi! Steel toed lady, cut the karate moves."

The petite girl frowned before directing her attention toward her large serving of pot roast. Jess swigged his scotch before rubbing his foot against her aching toe. Rory smiled as she took a sip of her drink as well.

Emily, who was currently giving Richard the silent treatment, gestured for the maid to clear the plates. Before leading the group to the sitting room for coffee. Upon hearing the word coffee both Gilmore girls perked up while Jess and Luke prepared themselves for the long, chatter filled night ahead.

After three cups of coffee, both Rory and Loralei were back to their normal selves talking endlessly to whoever was listening.

"And then Kurt went, 'that's what she said' like he was Dwight from the office or something!" Rory ended

"Then Davey, Sookie's son asked his father innocently 'what did she say Daddy?'" Loralei added to the end.

At this point both uncle and nephew were trying to constrict their laughter.

At the end of the night the quartet, climbed into Loralei's jeep both mentally and physical exhausted before bursting out in hysterical laughter.

From the window, Emily and Richard peered into the car.

"I think these men will really make them happy." Richard murmured with a smile.

"They've finally found the ones." Emily sighed, as the Jeep drove off…it's passengers still laughing their heads off.

**Okay, so this was my second Gilmore fanfic. It was kinda random but I hope you like it!**

**We gotta keep this amazing show alive! We can't let it die! Rory/Jess forever!**

**P.s **

**If any of my HP peeps are reading this I will update my Draco/Ginny story shortly! I promise!**

**Oy with the poodles already!**

**Harrypotter202abc**


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